Tuesday
Aug162011
Ross and Carrie Meet Brian!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 1:18AM 
Everybody's doing it! Mormonism is in the air, with Carrie and Ross getting baptised and becoming members of the LDS Church (in episodes 4 and 5), and now our theme music composer and the star of the hit web series Mr. Deity sits down to talk with us about his Mormon upbringing, subsequent departure from the faith, and his life today as an atheist. Find out about Brian's special underwear (yes!), a top-secret handshake, what ultimately put the nail in the coffin of his beliefs, and how he handles a bad hair day, in this interview with special guest Brian Keith Dalton.
8 Comments | Share Article | Permalink | tagged Brian Keith Dalton, LDS, Latter-Day Saints, Mormon, Mr. Deity, bible, carrie, religion, ross, spirituality 
Reader Comments (8)
LOVE Mr. Deity! Brian is the best! Even on his worst of hair days.
Thanks for the fix. Keep it coming.
Really great interview with BKD. He is a much more interesting man than I thought, looking forward to more from him.
Ray Comfort is from New Zealand, not Australia. We Aussies are responsible for Ken Ham (Creation Museum) - sorry about that.
I once read that Vicki Hyde of the New Zealand Skeptics used to draw chalk pentagrams around Ray when he was a street preacher in New Zealand.
Ahh, whoops! Sorry for the New Zealand/Australia confusion. But if I were you, I'd claim Ray-- he's an international treasure!
Brian, what were some of the choice reading materials that you gave to your bro-in-law in the stack that you referenced? I've recently left and am finding myself having the conversation with a lot of people about my departure. I'm just curious what types of things you felt were "silver bullets" to convince someone to be genuinely critical of their faith that would lead them to leave. I ask because I have friends (and perhaps I was this way at one stage too) that no matter the compelling case I put in front of them, they're not even at a place where they would honestly consider the possibility of the church not being what it claims to be. My hope isn't to rock my believer friends and family to the core, rather to get them to think critically about their belief system, and see where that leads them.
@Brolygamist, I, too am recently departed. I don't know what your level of involvement in the internet post mormon scene is, but there are many fantastic resources. Mormon Stories podcast has great episodes devoted to trying to explain to faithful family and friends why some people leave. Mormon Expression podcast is also fantastic. I found a great home at New Order Mormon Forum as I was trying to figure out my life again. MormonThink is dangerous, but mostly great.
As far as books go, far and away my favorite is Grant Palmer's An Insider's View of Mormon Origins. He spent his career as an institute director for the Church. The book is AMAZING for opening people's eyes to what others see. Added bonus, it doesn't feel anti-mormon (imo). I think the objective is not to destroy faith, but to have your faithful family and friends understand that there are concerns for which the Church has NO GOOD ANSWERS, in other words, the answers require you to "just believe" as the Book of Mormon Musical so perfectly puts it.
Good luck. We'd love to see you on the various discussion boards telling your story. There are many, many understanding friends to support you.
http://mormonstories.org/
http://mormonexpression.com/
http://newordermormon.org/
This is the third podcast I have ever listened to. The other two were about your Mormon experience. I posted earlier on the part 1 of the story. I am so happy that there are people like you and programs like Mr. Deity that help tone down the intensity of this debate by making your point in a funny way.
I came across Mr. Deity about 2 years ago when I first seriously allowed myself to even consider the possibility that there was no God. I grew up in the church but both of my parents were "inactive", however, they felt it was important that I go. My older sister was and still is a true believer and has held a temple recommend her entire adult life. She sent the missionaries over. They sent a couple of sister missionaries which was PERFECT for a 13 year old skinny nerd. I was baptized. I became the president of my deacons quorum at 13 and the teachers quorum at 14. I never really knew what to believe, I suppose I cared about it as much as any 13 or 14 year old did. I can tell you though, It was a great place for a shy but personable kid like me to meet girls. Plus, it seemed to make my family happy that I was going to church. I even went to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead at 14. I will never forget that worthiness interview to get the recommend.
I became inactive as a junior in High School, but the home teachers kept on coming and the guilt kept on flowing from family members. I am ashamed to admit it but I got back into the church because of a great parking spot. At the university I attended, mormon the institute of religion building was right next store to my college building. On a campus notorious for parking problems, I had a front row spot. I was parking closer to my college than the professors were. But I digress. In return for the parking sticker, I had to take "institute" classes. I was young and my family loved to hear that I was back in the fold. I had a wife and kid by then and the whole "family is forever" thing resonated with me. I became active and baptized my wife. I loved my family and they were mormon. So, I was Mormon too.
I was a squeaky clean temple endowed recommend carrying Reaganite church member for 13 years of marriage. Then I caught my wife sleeping with my best friend. The divorce that followed was messy emotionally, although I tried to protect my children as much as I knew how (To this day they do not know about their mother's infidelity).
While we have an equal share of parental rights, we can not practically share them equally, I have the standard every other weekend deal. The divorce was hard on my kids, especially my oldest daughter who was 12 at the time. My ex has stayed in the church and has remarried to a 73 year old man (my ex was 35 at the time) who acts as the "priesthood" holder. I can not begin to tell you the friction generated when another man who physically strikes your children (spanking is Legal in the state I reside) and is married to an adulterous woman tries to claim moral authority over your children. Knowing however that my children have to live under this tyranny and that poking the bee's nest would only result in more conflict, I remain cordial. (Yes, I have notified social services, nothing they can do, spanking is legal).
I have told my children that I no longer believe in the mormon church. They have all been baptized. Two of them by their step-father. I was at all the baptisms. They all have a "testimony". I tried to take them to the local unitarian church once just to show them that there are other ways to think and believe. The backlash to that was unexpected, I was asked by my sobbing 8 year old son why I force him to go to another church. He was afraid he was going to get in trouble when he got home.
My oldest daughter has disowned me. My other children know I believe differently but don't really want to ever talk about it. Truth is, I'm afraid to tell them. I am a closet atheist and I fear the repercussions of expressing my beliefs on my relationship with my children. My ex-wife would have a field day as she constantly feels the need to justify "leaving me" by making it my fault. Anyhoo... Wow, the freedom of anonymous internet posting!
I know I am giving intimate details but some people don't fully understand the consequences of belonging to a mormon family. You can't just send in a letter revoking your membership! I struggle every day with whether or not I should explain to them the truth about religion and about God. I will be killing Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Joseph Smith and Jesus all in one blow. On some level I hope they figure it out for themselves. On another, I find it painful to watch them being taught such nonsense. It destroys lives.
Once the church sets roots, it goes deep. It took me months before I would even consider the possibility there was no God and years to allow myself to say it out loud. I still can't say it out loud to anyone except my wife. As a technically "inactive" temple endowed member, I am going to Outer Darkness for my disbelief, Lucifer told me himself in the video at the Temple. It was very dramatic.
So here I am in the Outer Darkness. They tell me it gets worse, but having to pretend to your own children, and having one disown you, that's pretty much a living hell anyway.